Why I Hate/Never Use MySpace...

"Did you get my last email? I never heard back and hoping you're not blowing me off. Because I really want to get to know you. I am new to myspace and have been on a quest to find my dreamgirl. I can't tell you how many profiles I looked through before I found you. I love your profile and really want to get to know you. You seem really complex, and I'll bet a lot of guys don't understand you.
You are SO my type. It's incredible. You take my breath away.
To tell you a little about myself, I am a filmmaker living in Beverly Hills. I'm 5'11/180, light brown hair and blue eyes. I am creative, passionate, intelligent and athletic. And you seem like my match. I just loaded my pic.
Are you seeing anyone now? What do you do for fun? Are you interested in acting? Are you real? I don't want to waste my time if you're not. I really want to get to know you. I have a feeling we will really connect. I have to get to know you.
Also, do you have a manager? We might be interested in repping you.
Get back,
David
P.S. You have the MOST amazing eyes ever!"



This guy is 40. He has one picture and it's him on some boat. All of his friends are wearing bikinis and have their legs open in some sleazy fashion. HE LOVES MAKING MOVIES.



Gross.

Stressed

out.

I've been so far from my usual self lately and I know why, but I also don't. I'm tired. All the time, I'm tired. I don't sleep. Not eating properly. Getting sick every other day... I can't focus on classes, going is a chore equivalent to taking out trash or going to the dentist. I literally drag myself there, usually in a rush because for some reason, I'm always in a rush, no matter how much time I have, which is both ridiculous and stressful. Additionally, I'm about to start working 2 jobs and already take 18 credits at UM. I know what my problem is, I'm logical enough to realize what's wrong and what needs to be done to get on the right track. But I haven't had the will or desire to change anything... until now.

I was supposed to go to a formal tonight in Castine at my friends' house, Matt and Lucas. I just really really really... really shouldn't. I got way too carried away last night at my friend's 21st birthday party and I am currently on a break from my 8 hour shift at work. I know what the right thing to do is: REST. Stop trying to please everyone and just take care of myself. Typical Stephanie doesn't stay home, just keeps go, go, going all the time, neglecting personal health and any reason or rationale. I don't know why I do the things I do. For someone so aware of what's going on, I am such an idiot sometimes. And look, I can even pick up on that!

I have so much on my mind right now I can't even form words, let alone sentences to describe, explain or convey what I'm feeling. I need to write, it's my outlet, but it's going to have to be something that has nothing to do with my personal life because I'm at a loss for words in that arena. I guess it'd be a good opportunity for some ENG 205 material to flow out of me.

Until I'm not a complete robotic bundle of anxiety, seeeee ya later.